Escape from Expectation
No packing. No kissing goodbye.
This is the everyday form of escape.
Expectation changes how a moment feels. Not because anything is wrong but because something is being asked of it, often in relationships.
Lately, a couple of RAYE songs’ lyrics have been stuck in my head.
“I could love you, If I really wanted to… ” (Worth It).
“Where Is My Husband”.
One stays with the moment. The other asks it to become something more.
🎧 Listen to the Escape from Expectation playlist
How expectation shows up
Here I am showing how expectation sneaks into relationship moments:
“Where is this going?”,
“Wait,,, what ?”
Valentine’s Day
“Are we on autopilot?”
Where is this going?
When definition starts creeping in. Is this moving somewhere? Are we exclusive?Nothing is wrong but the present is already carrying the future.
Wait… What?
When something doesn’t land the way you imagined: a response, a tone, an energy shift. Just a quiet gap between expectation and reality.
Are we on autopilot?
The one that appears inside stability: too much routine, too many assumptions. When comfort starts to feel like obligation.
Valentine’s Day!
When the outside world adds pressure. Valentine’s. Milestones. Timeline. Expectation builds. The moment starts to feel a performance.
These aren’t problems to fix. They’re moments where expectation builds.
So It’s time for a sensory check. The same way a tea break interrupt the day, this interrupts the moment.
Sometimes we aren’t just being nosy about others; we’re being nosy about our own feelings.
I try to not think my way out of it. I mark the moment with The Anchor Jar. It’s a point of focus when things feel heavy.
Here is how I build mine.
Cotton & Rose buds
You will need
Cotton balls : a handful
Essential oil: Cedarwood or Vetiver
Dried red rose buds: a handful
Dried pink rose bubs: a handful
A bathroom jar
Why these ingredients?
Cedarwood or Vetiver: They act as the anchor of the jar, providing a woody and grounded scent.
Dried Rose Buds: These offer "visual softness." There is a theory that focusing on something naturally beautiful and intricate gives the mind a quiet place to rest.
The Jar: It’s a "sensory interruption." It’s not a medical cure, but a simple way to give your senses a different point of focus when too much is expected from you.
What I do
Layer 1: 3 drops of Cedarwood on each cotton ball at the base.
Layer 2: A generous handful of deep red rose buds.
Layer 3: A layer of soft pink rose buds.
The Ritual: Tilt it several times. Watch the colors merge.
How I use it
Place your Anchor Jar where the demands on your time feel the heaviest 'perhaps your desk, bathroom or the bedside table.
1. Look: Take 10 seconds to look at the colors and textures in the jar.
2. Breathe: Open it, take 3 slow breath of the woody scent, and close it.
3. Return: Put the lid back on and move back into your day. Repeat whenever you need that break
A Final Word
Escape, here, doesn’t mean leaving. It means not escalating.
Sometimes the most grounded thing you can do is stay in the moment but with less pressure.
The Anchor jar is a small sensory escape, Try it next time when too much is expected from you.
And if you really need a break... you can always leave the country;)
